So, yesterday we all went for lunch to celebrate my brother's girlfriend's birthday. We were invited by my mum, and she and my dad paid for the meal. It was the first time I have talked with her in about 7 weeks... I can't believe it's been that long. It went well, I think, in that I drank enough to keep me from thinking and maintaining my polite interest in her life, and enough to tell her about what news I had that she might find of interest.
Prior to this lunch, my dad called last week. He told me that my mum had been to the doctor to see about an anxiety and depression med and had told our family doctor why she needed it. She had already been to see a therapist that she was hoping would help her cause of becoming "right" about Mono in our life, and his interest in our son, and the breakup of our family and marriage. She then decided to go to our doctor, as well, to tell him what was going on, in the hopes that she would be able to get meds to help her sleep at night in order to deal with it.
The doctor had to act professionally and ask to see our son. My mum made him an appointment and was ready to take him. My dad called me to tell me what had come about and say that he thought I should take him.
Of course, I was furious. She has bent over backwards, it seems, to gain confidence in her story and get others to collaborate on it with her. She has gotten her coworkers to think that Mono is a predator, also.
When I saw her yesterday, I told her that I thought it was great that she was in therapy and that I hoped she was working through some issues. I told her that I thought it was a good idea to take meds while she goes through that process, as it helps sometimes to be medicated to deal with hard issues. I suggested that when she is finished with therapy that she remember to come off of them again, as they should have served their purpose by then. I told her that I am certain that Tomos is fine and that he is in no need to see our doctor, but that I would take him.
I will take him tomorrow, with a big bribe, as he hates the doctor's office. I will take him for no other reason than I think my mum will not rest easy until a professional that she respects tells her that our son is not adversely being affected by our V situation.
If she doesn't back off after that, my husband and I have agreed that we will give her an ultimatum. Either she gets off this self-righteous attempt to destroy our relationship, over simply wanting to prove she's right, or she decide to let it go, regain some trust, and reestablish herself in our lives, with a new outlook for the future and what is happening in our family today. If she decides to continue on the course she is on now, we have agreed to let her know she won't see our boy again. We can't have him influenced by her when we are not around. He should never be made to feel that there is something wrong that he should be 'fessing up to. He should not be made to go through what I did when I was a child, having the feeling that someone's love has conditions. We have no conditions on our love for him. We want him to always to know that he will be loved, no matter what.
So, wish me luck tomorrow, and in the future.
Judging by yesterday's lunch, I think that we are on a rocky path yet, although it isn't as steep and is slowly turning to gravel. Still, I am tired, and any path these days seems like an effort. I am asking for strength, at this point. I have faith, albeit battered faith, that our V is worth standing up for, but I don't have the strength to hold my head up high and be everything I need to be in order to not be hit to the ground once and for all.
Again I'm sorry things have worked out this way. Hopefully she will realize how much she misses you guys, and sooner rather than later. *HUGS*
