Trying to share more positive polyam stories in the news!!

[leahhamiltonwriter]

Hey @leahhamiltonwriter - fancy a game of 2 degrees of separation? LOL. I bet if we try hard enough we could actually find a mutual acquaintance :-D

Haha, I bet!! New Zealand is so small in some ways

 

[Magdlyn]

Hi! Sorry, I just saw this!

Thanks for answering! I almost didn't see your response. Sometimes this forum gets so busy, even newer posts get buried.

Here, daycare (where they were) is actually called "Kita" here, but it didn't really translate to a US audience well. Insider decided to just call it "kindergarten". My daughter started when she was 2, and my son started a couple of years later when he turned 2. The relationship with my friend started in 2018, so my son by that point was 2 years old and my daughter was 4.

Ah, I see.

I have a long term partner (i.e., the father of my children), so if I was out late, he would take them to Kita in the morning, to which we'd normally go at 10am. We share parenting with each other.

Oh 10 am is such a human hour! So many daycares in the US expect a much earlier drop-off.

We spend a lot of time together as a family, but sometimes he's busy or sometimes I'm busy, like normal people. There were definitely occasional days where I was out until 4am and then had to get up at 8am to get them ready for Kita and take them, but it was definitely rare, because that just sucked. Mostly I would go out on a Friday or Saturday when we would all sleep in in the morning, anyway.

OK, that makes sense too.

I also don't have a day job. I'm a freelancer. So I work my hours when I want to, which means if I went out late and partied, I could just take the next day off from work. I'd be fit again to pick up my kids from Kita by 3pm.

Cool. I have a part time freelance job too. (I'm semi-retired, though, not a mom of littles.) It's great!

I didn't burn out at all. But the pandemic definitely stopped all the partying fun.

For everyone! Except those idiots who didn't give a shit. Like the prime minister of the UK for one, lol

I'm a very committed parent, and random internet people's opinions aren't going to change my own perspective of my parenting, nor the perspectives of the people who actually know me (and know that I love my kids dearly, and spend huge amounts of time with them). I don't need to justify anything to anyone - my kids are happy and loved by many people and I'm content with our lifestyle

I wasn't asking for justification. I just know that so many poly people do not date others when their kids are very young. But with all your free daycare, an involved and available dad and a part time freelance job, it all makes more sense.

Yes, I have various partners at various times. I go out rarely now, because the partying lifestyle gets a bit boring at a certain point.

Family life can be much more fulfilling than drinking, smoking, taking ecstasy, going dancing in loud clubs, and all that. At least for many of us.

Now... I don't know, life is just different. I spend a lot of time reading, writing, doing stuff with the kids, spending time with friends. I go out partying probably once every 2 months at this point. It's very rare these days that I stay up all night. I'm tired!

Another interesting story would be how polyamory fits into your life as a parent, now that you're older and more tired!