Possessive X Throws Toys Out Pram

  • Thread starter Deleted member 157725
  • Start date
D

Deleted member 157725

Guest
I've learned my lesson about not disclosing too much. I shall approach explaining in a different style.

For some time 'Person X' would contact me constantly, person X was jealous of everything I put my focus on that wasn't them.

I then sorted out my boundaries & as such they no longer knew my address & I put their number on 'do not disturb mode' on my phone.

Then 'traumatic event X' happened and they required support. I supported them & encouraged them.

then it went back to the constant contact while I was busy with other things and none at all when I was free. This person during that time got me re-trained into letting them know everything I was doing.

This person then after I failed to reply to a message in time threatened to do something. The correct people were called to sort it out and lots of people ran around after person X out of concern.

The threat to do something was a hoax.

The night after I didn't message them back because I was asleep. Person X then threw their toys out the pram and blocked me on only one social media platform. It's clearly my cue to message through another means being all sad going 'why did you block me' but I'm not falling for it.

I'm torn between wanting my freedom and worrying about person X.

I don't want contact with person X anymore, not only that I don't want person X to have contact with anyone I have contact with.

A) Person X is very manipulative & one of their parents warned me person X would attempt to interfere with my relationships, person x had done this recently to another person.

B) There is also the issue that they have decided to pretend they haven't acquired a new illness and once they are recovered from traumatic event X, if they haven't sorted it, theres a possibility it could spread.

I am concerned person x may combine A & B I don't know if I'm worry about that because I have GAD or because person x is likely to do that.

Not sure what to do.
 
Person X is a manipulative narcissist, it sounds very much like to me.

You are responsible for you. Keeping toxic humans out of your life-space is your responsibility to do. Do not let them manipulate you, I am going to take a wild guess (I understand you are being vague, do not need to confirm or deny this is what happened) but I am going to guess that the threat was that they would self harm or even suicide. This kind of manipulative behavior to control the actions of others is common of narcissists. I have developed a saying, "No one is allowed to hold me hostage with their own life."

You need to break free, block, stop contact, do not respond. And if you get so much as a hint of a threat of harm to self or others, call the police. Period. Maybe let person X know that this is your choice going forward. You aren't obligated to maintain this person. You aren't obligated to manage their behavior or any risk they might pose to others with their health. Other people are responsible for their own sexual health. You have no part in all of that. Your responsibility is to find ways to stop being harmed by this person and their behavior. That is all.

Sometimes the path to severing that tie is longer than we might like, sometimes it is not straightforward, sometimes there are good reasons for that. I was married to a man who, at times, demanded contact and maintenance in similar ways. I am taking my time in unraveling the ties that bound us because we have children, and a long history together so if I could be gentle in parting so to minimize the odds of him going utterly to pieces, I wanted to. But make no mistake, the end goal is "you are not part of my life anymore." That needs to be your goal and you need to take it very seriously.
 
I agree with Spork. Threats of self-harm are met with a police visit. It's a serious thing and I am not going to be responsible for someone else's mental issues. They need therapy and possibly medication. If they are unwilling to do that, all that there is moving forward will be drama, and I don't need unhealthy individuals in my life. Neither do you. Go full no contact and your life will improve. You can't stop them from being friends with your friends, but you can ask them not to mention that person when you are around. If they persist in wanting to talk about X and X's issues, walk away.
 
Spork said:
Other people are responsible for their own sexual health. You have no part in all of that.
Click to expand...

It's just scary. Because people could die. I've told a few whats going on. The response I got was a telling off, but a telling off from 'person x' so im not heartbroken.
 
Well damn, it is hard to know how to handle that one. I completely understand a wish to basically warn anyone what they might be getting mixed up with there. But... At the same time...

At the end of the day, we all have to take ownership of our own sexual health, seriously. Every time a person has unprotected sex, or even safer sex sometimes, it's a roll of the dice. And yet it is a risk that people find to be worth taking.

Honestly? I still say that this is not your problem, and that distance from person X is your best bet.
 
Spork said:
Well damn, it is hard to know how to handle that one. I completely understand a wish to basically warn anyone what they might be getting mixed up with there. But... At the same time...

At the end of the day, we all have to take ownership of our own sexual health, seriously. Every time a person has unprotected sex, or even safer sex sometimes, it's a roll of the dice. And yet it is a risk that people find to be worth taking.

Honestly? I still say that this is not your problem, and that distance from person X is your best bet.
Click to expand...

I have warned people. I don't think a lot of people understand because i've kept most of person x's bullshit to myself and not shared or asked help with it.

Reason for edit: identifying information retracted
 
Last edited by a moderator:
Hey

In the end I know what your saying and that they are a risk but you also need to know that you are safe as well be careful!👍
 
Thunderstrike said:
In the end I know what your saying and that they are a risk but you also need to know that you are safe as well be careful!👍
Click to expand...


Yes but I kind of see it a bit like the game 'sonic cd' when you do your best in the past and then the future is better.
 
Hi pollynyma

Yes good point l I like the sonic metaphor! Nicely done! 👌👍......(+_+)
 
Thunderstrike said:
Yes good point l I like the sonic metaphor! Nicely done! ����......(+_+)
Click to expand...


Well to you know if you don't save all of sonics friends in zone 1 they become robot enemies and loose their freedom to robotnik. In sonic cd you can go back and re do zone 1, in life you can't.
 
Thank you to all of you. You gave me the courage to block their number. :)
 
Um...ok. But life is not a videogame.

I love kitties, but I'm not going to live with a thousand of them in my house just because I cannot stand to see even one suffer, be unloved, or die.

I hate the idea of children going hungry. Should I sell everything I own to raise money to feed starving children?

I am saying that as much as it sucks, you can't save 'em all. What are you going to do, go around warning anyone who might have contact with person X about this risk? Follow person x around so you don't miss any new contacts? Of course not. Now if a friend of mine told me they were getting romantically involved with someone that I knew had a deadly incurable condition they could catch, well I think I would probably caution them and advise rather strongly that they protect themselves.

But I would not continue unnecessary contact with person x for any reason. Not to manage him, not to warn people, just NOT. You aren't responsible for saving everybody. This isn't a videogame and you're not the only player character in your world. Everyone else is sitting behind their OWN controllers. Making their OWN choices, in their OWN games.
 
PollyNymA said:
Thank you to all of you. You gave me the courage to block their number. :)
Click to expand...

I was posting my last reply as you were posting this one.

I'm happy for you! And I think this is smart. :)
 
Spork said:
Um...ok. But life is not a videogame.

I love kitties, but I'm not going to live with a thousand of them in my house just because I cannot stand to see even one suffer, be unloved, or die.

I hate the idea of children going hungry. Should I sell everything I own to raise money to feed starving children?

I am saying that as much as it sucks, you can't save 'em all. What are you going to do, go around warning anyone who might have contact with person X about this risk? Follow person x around so you don't miss any new contacts? Of course not. Now if a friend of mine told me they were getting romantically involved with someone that I knew had a deadly incurable condition they could catch, well I think I would probably caution them and advise rather strongly that they protect themselves.

But I would not continue unnecessary contact with person x for any reason. Not to manage him, not to warn people, just NOT. You aren't responsible for saving everybody. This isn't a videogame and you're not the only player character in your world. Everyone else is sitting behind their OWN controllers. Making their OWN choices, in their OWN games.
Click to expand...

You are very much right , I've warned people I worry they might seek out and people who may meet them, that I am friends with. Basically those close to me, I've told them what's going on. I worry anyway, I just want people I care about to be safe from this person I've introduced stupidly to my community
 
Hi pollynyma

Yes very true life is the ultimate game! And the interviews piece sit on the board! It's hiw we move our that moves our life's along for good or bad depending what you believe? !!! Sonic a great game m 👌👍likes the metafore in the way you think!:):)
 
Hi PollyNymA,

Based on your description, Person X is someone you should definitely separate from your life. Even if you are worried about them, it's just too risky. Separate them from your life as much as possible.

Regards,
Kevin T.
 
Thunderstrike said:
:Dhope your well polly have you been up to much.....:D
Click to expand...

Not really mainly consentrating on my sock futures start up. Currently trying to work out how to market a hedge fund based on a sock economy to hipsters....... You?
 
PollyNymA said:
Not really mainly consentrating on my sock futures start up. Currently trying to work out how to market a hedge fund based on a sock economy to hipsters....... You?
Click to expand...

Insider tip:

Scarce commodity, value/demand much higher than supply:

https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/db/e8/bc/dbe8bcb205eaf1961d3ba89cffcf5a76.jpg

One could certainly game that market.

In other words, I want this socks so goddamn miserably badly but they appear to have quit making/selling them and I can't find them anywhere and I'm just looking for a reason, place, or excuse to cry about it.

waaahhh....

*throws inferior socks out of pram*
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top