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It is not a disproportional amount, so no. It makes sense. TenK, it may take a little longer to reply to your post, but it is a reasonable question/statement.

That's exactly what she's saying. And it is a double standard. And I do not see it as an unpardonable offense, I totally get it. How you define primary and secondary is really too vague. She probably spends more time with him. They have sex more than we do. But, as I mentioned earlier, K still...

Pol - EE -phobia I hate spelling errors. Thanks for weighing in Bluebird, that definitely makes sense. The finances you mentioned are a tangible aspect of the relationship that ultimately don't concern K. Other money issues simple, just his rent, and now we share a cell phone plan. The more I...

Pals, well, maybe..... For some reason when I saw this thread I kinda smiled and instantly wanted to post on it. But, I lay in wait. I needed to read what others were sharing first. We are a poly home, my meta lives with us. As far as personalities, we are polar and exact opposites. I am...

K has put plenty in the relationship, in more ways than one. Earlier in this post, someone mentioned dreading the words, "I want to talk about the relationship." That is him. Dahlia has a need to talk about it, she has this never ending curiosity to know how everything works. I know he's...

primary vs secondary An issue that has confronted me. As I tried to make the poly ls work for me, the notion I was primary, K secondary was something I leaned on. It only made sense. We were married, spent nearly 20 years together raising our kids, struggling, working, doing what couples do to...

beyond the V Me dating I tried the dating. The poly folk we met at the local potluck, all married and dating, suggested OKC. I ran an ad, and had a couple of dates. The online chatting was more fun than the dates, they seemed a bit boring, and overall, a waste of time. I feel like I did it...

2 years later So I was having an online discussion with a friend and she referred me to this site to read an article. And rereading my thread from Oct. 2013. My post sounds a little naive as I read it today. I have learned. I'm a little wiser. But that would be the hope for anybody two years...

Hi LoveBunny. We started out as swingers, and had fun doing it for 17+ years. Eventually, the thing I was attracted to was my wife's interaction with her male partner, and was intrigued by the hotwife scenario, in which I was monogamous and she was free to find FB's, or FWB's at her discretion...

poly meetups Our plan is keep the invitation open for the non discussion groups, I think he may enjoy meeting some of the people, but no pushing!!! Easy access all the way. I am impressed by the people in attendance in the groups. OK, I am new to poly so forgive me if this sounds naive, but...

Thanks Kevin. Yeah the comment about the drums and moon said loads. Basically I interpreted it as "back off!!" But I have no problems taking about feelings or the relationship if the need arises. Dahlia has a need to talk about it regularly, so the important thing is I am there for her when...

OK, thanks SparklePony, I have never really had many guy friends, like I have ONE real friend that was not female, so maybe I am limited in being able to talk freely with him because of that. We have a few common interests, but he not the typical guy, zero interest in beer or sports...

dream Yes, that's my dream, but I think it will remain a dream. Dagferi is right, but it will never be a triad in my estimation. I'm finished trying to even attempt to communicate with him about the relationship, it's pointless, unnecessary, I'm wasting my time. Things are clicking along fine...

bound

I keep the idea/fantasy in the back of my mind. Part of me thinks it is scorchingly hot.

some progress http://www.polyamory.sbs/forum/showthread.php?p=244608#post244608 PS to the mods, I intended to post under the "how you doing thread," then felt like including it mine. If this type double posting is not proper forum etiquette, let me know.

I read a thread today And how I was doing after reading could be described as sorrowful to the point of tears, regretful and ashamed. The topic and situation did not resemble ours, other than that love thing. But what it did manage to do was to put myself in my wife's shoes and not focus on...

Those are words I would dread hearing from my wife, and believe me, the thought has crossed my insecure mind. To accept this I would need to embrace my "inner cuckold". This may or may not be an option for your husband. It would be my only hope of dealing this reality. I've spent plenty of time...

Honestly is way better. No disputing that. And friends that are unable to accept will sadly be lost. So we attempt to identify how best to separate those we come out to as we discover for ourselves how to be poly in a largely un-poly world.

The fact that we spend so much time together, both at our home, and out and about has made me think about this subject quite a lot. And it's a split decision. For her family, mostly no possible way. Conservative and Christian, it would cause so many problems it would in no way shape or form be...