“Am I The Asshole” (AITA) subReddit - Poly topic

[JaneQSmythe]

Throughout the years we have seen various conversations here about poly and kids and divorce and custody etc.
This AITA convo is a reminder that nothing on the internet is private and kids are more perceptive than many people think:

Teen Distraught After Learning Why Her Parents Divorced From Mom's Post In Polyamorous Facebook Group

A parent on Reddit had to shed some light on their divorce to their kids and the results were an issue.

percolately.com

For those that don't like to click the links: Story is that wife proposes opening up the marriage, husband desires sexual fidelity. They divorce. They have two teenage kids - daughter takes the divorce really hard. Ex-wife requests that they not disclose that her being poly is what led to the divorce, ex-husband agrees to request. Down the road a bit, ex-wife is posting about the situation on a FakeBook poly group and someone takes a screenshot and sends it to the daughter. Daughter approaches Dad with this information and asks him if it is true. (His question is: Am I The Asshole for not lying to my daughter.) Comments follow, as they do...

 

[Leander]

Bit of a mess! AITA is a bit like a tabloid chat show with no host, so that doesn't make things less messy. While the ex-wife was naive to think posting to a FB poly group would be safe the ex-husband must've wanted some revenge drama to share his story at a place like that. Wonderful!

Have to say, the situation is reminiscent of my own immediate family drama way back when my parents got divorced. Gay monogamous dad, hetero polyamorous mom, both not out, growing apart and wanting a different life than the perfect nuclear family facade they'd been living. Didn't tell the kids that was why they were separating because my dad asked my mum to keep it secret. The difference is when I found out years later while talking to my mum I was like, "Oh! So dad is gay and you wanted more partners. I guess that explains why dad was into gay stuff and you were into other guys. I'm shocked! NOT!"

 

[kdt26417]

This percolately.com story is a good example of why I think it's best to out yourself to your kids if/when at all possible. Gods forbid that the kids should find out on their own, and that's exactly what happened here.

 

[MeeraReed]

Reading AITA is my guilty pleasure...I remember that post from a few weeks ago.

What troubled me most was that the daughter was upset and angry to find out her mom is "like that." So much to unpack there.